Daddy, please let me get one! I’ll take care of him and love him and keep him forever!
Step 1: Try to convince your parents that you are responsible enough to get a puppy.
It took four years of begging, pleading and harassing to get my father to consider letting me get a puppy. I was fed the same old speech about how it was a lot of work and I just didn’t understand what I was getting myself into. Being the hard-headed, “I can do anything and I’m always right” teenager I am, it went in one ear and out the other. I was positive I could handle it and I would do anything in the world to get myself a puppy.
OMG look how cute this one is! Can I get him?! Please, please, please!
Step 2: Puppy shopping. I promise, you will fall in love with every puppy you set your eyes on.
I was in love with the idea of having a puppy. How cute it would be and how much fun it would be, and that is all I could think about when I was puppy shopping. I overlooked how much work it would actually be because, like I said, I fell in love with the idea of a fluffy little lap dog, instead of something that needed loads of attention and care.
PUPPY FEVER!
Step 3: By now, the decision has been made and you will be getting your puppy in the next couple weeks.
When my puppy fever struck, all I could think about for two weeks was the day I could go pick up my puppy and take him home. Nothing else mattered to me—not school or work or anything for that matter. I just wanted to bring him home and finally call him mine. Every time I saw a dog or puppy I would scream out of excitement for my new puppy. It is like a trance of cuteness; you can’t get out until you realize what a pain in the you-know-what a puppy can be.
My puppy needs this and this and this and this, oooooh and this too.
Step 4: Spend hundreds of dollars on unnecessary items for your puppy.
I spent numerous paychecks on my puppy before I even bought him. I bought him toys, food, fancy bowls and collars. After I got him I found out that he was much, much happier playing with a cardboard box and some string than half the toys I got him. It didn’t make a difference to him if he was drinking or eating out of a plastic container or the blue rhinestone bowls.
Today is the day I bring my baby home!
Step 5: Acquire the puppy.
The joy of having the puppy and the pain of taking care of the puppy finally meet. One moment he’s the cutest thing in the world and the next thing you know he’s peeing on your bed. This step is just a short step of realization of what you really got yourself into.
Oh. My. God. I want to kill myself.
Step 6: I guess my crazy father wasn’t so crazy and dream crushing after all.
Don’t listen to what the commercials tell you, puppies are in no way, shape or form cute little puff balls of joy. No. They are holy terrors that will wake up at all hours of the night and pee on your carpet and trip you every time you take a step. They bite and they bark. I thought this was going to be an easy, fun experience and boy was I in for a surprise. I’ve realized at this point in my experience that my dad wasn’t the crazy, dream-crushing adult I thought he was trying to be. He was right, and now I have what is essentially equivalent to a toddler: a puppy. Yay.
– By Jessica Clayton