By Ellie Saksa
Staff Writer
“Parents are the people who feed you, clothe you, bathe you and love you, not really the people who gave birth to you. If your parents are the ones who gave birth to you and love you, then it’s fine. It just really matters who really loves you and cares for you,” freshman Tessa Sheets said.
Sheets was adopted from Siberia, Russia at age two. She has known she was adopted ever since she could understand what adoption meant.
Sheets does not know her biological family or anything about them and has many unanswered questions.
“I would ask them about the living conditions when they had me or, if they even wanted me,” Sheets said.
Some people hide the fact that they were adopted, but Sheets embraces it.
“[Being adopted] makes me unique; it’s just cool to say, ‘I’m adopted,’ especially from a different country,” Sheets said.
Unlike Sheets, senior Africa Mason knows both of her biological parents and was adopted last year at age 16. Mason and her siblings were taken by the Department of Social Services (DSS) when she was 12 years old.
Mason unwillingly went to foster homes and cried when the DSS took her. Her first foster home was in Florida, she lived with eight foster families before she found a secure home.
“The last thing my mom said to me when we were taken that day was, ‘Why are you crying? It’s all your fault,’ I never got that out of my head. I became really depressed,” Mason said.
Originally, she was against adoption. Mason said she finally opened up to adoption after eight unfit and sometimes abusive foster homes.
“I decided I want to be in one home, I want to start my life and get out of high school and every thing. I want to be stable and I want to be happy,” Mason said.
However, before the adoption, Mason was scared. She says she got bullied throughout middle school.
“I got picked on a lot because my mom was white [classmates] were like, ‘Oh you’re adopted, you’re adopted.’ I used to cry myself to sleep because I thought being adopted was so bad,” Mason said.
After her adoption last spring, Mason’s opinion changed. “I think it’s amazing to be adopted. I don’t like being just like everyone else,” Mason said. “I got a second chance at picking a family and I’m grateful for that. So I am perfectly fine with being adopted.”
Mason is in contact with her biological mother and sees her on occasion. When they get together they keep the conversations light. Mason knows her biological father, but does not often communicate with him. After the DSS took her and her siblings, her father moved to Michigan.
“He’s not a father to me; he’s just a person who made me,” Mason said.
Mason is almost 18, which means if she hadn’t been adopted, she would soon be eligible to “age-out.” Aging-out occurs at age 18 when a child has to choose to stay in foster care for three more years or leave the system. Statistics show the children who age out are more likely to have financial, educational, health and behavioral problems than children with stable families.
Mason met her future brother at a summer camp. She was his camp counselor and he went home every day telling his family how much he liked her.
“His parents met me in person and they started speaking with the camp director about adopting me,” Mason said. “I got to hang out with them to see if I liked them, I got to stay weekends with them and then I started staying weeks with them. I got to finally move in after four months.”
Mason had dreamed of an non-traditional family with two mothers.
“They came in and I thought ‘That can’t be right, your wishes just don’t come true,’” Mason said. “They are everything—they’re young, they’re two women, I have younger brothers, a dog, two cats and I’m happy.”
Mason has been living with her “amazingly perfect,” family for nine months.
Freshman Mara Klein was adopted from Dayton, Ohio when she was 11 hours old. Klein’s biological mother had her at age 16 and before Klein was born her biological parents split up.
Klein is uncertain about wanting to meet them.
“I would ask them what they were like when they were 16 because that’s a couple months older than me,” Klein said.
Klein is struggling to sort out her feelings about her biological parents.
“In some ways [I’m mad at them] because I feel like they left me,” Klein said.
Klein knows little about her biological parents but says her biological mother would have terminated the pregnancy if her mom and dad had not adopted her.
“The adoption agency called my [adoptive] mom and told her, ‘There’s a healthy 16 year old who’s pregnant, and you could talk to her and maybe she’ll decide to have the baby for you,’” Klein said. “My mom called her and convinced her to have me.”
Knowing what her mom did makes Klein appreciate her even more.
“It makes me think where I would have been. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my [adoptive] mom. She literally saved my life,” Klein said.
Coming from this background, Klein feels passionate about adoption.
“I feel like adoption is a really good thing because a lot of people who want to have babies can’t and a lot of people who don’t want to have babies can,” Klein said.
Unlike Klein, senior Alex McLaurin knows one of his biological parents and was involved in the decision to be adopted.
McLaurin was adopted by his stepfather and is currently being raised by him and his biological mother.
“I was six when I remember going to court with my mom. I had to stand up in court and testify and say that I accepted my [stepfather] as my father and I took his last name,” McLaurin said.
McLaurin had no father figure for the first four years of his life. His biological father left his mother when she found out she was pregnant. At age four, McLaurin’s mother started dating his soon-to-be stepfather.
His stepfather, known to McLaurin as “Dad,” was excited to have McLaurin become his son. He began the long process of adoption even before he and McLaurin’s mother were married.
“He had to sign a lot of papers stating that he would take care of me; he had to take on my father role both on paper and in real life,” McLaurin said.
McLaurin has access to contact information for his biological father, but chooses not to communicate with him right now.
“I’ve thought about it a few times over the years and think once I’m out of college and I’m an adult, ready to more grasp the situation, I might finally contact him,” McLaurin said.
The fear of rejection from the father who left him contributes to McLaurin’s decision.
“I would announce myself by my current name and then I’d let him know I am his son. I’d just let him know how far I’ve come and inform him what’s going on, that is if he wants to talk to me,” McLaurin said.
McLaurin feels fortunate to have been adopted by his stepfather.
“I’m glad things turned out the way they did,” McLaurin said. “If they hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here. I don’t have any regrets.”
