“I want people to look at me as me, not just as Sierra Atwater 2.0, because I’m not that,” junior John Atwater said. “I want to be accepted for me, not just as someone else’s shadow.”
Those who have older siblings know the pressures that come along with being the younger sibling and being expected to live up to a high standard.
“You can never live up to expectations that everyone has of you. Even if you try your hardest, it’s not as good as what your older sibling did,” Atwater said. “You still have that sense that you didn’t accomplish what you really needed to, even though you did your best, and that’s the hard part.”
For me, being a younger sibling myself, the pressure to be as accomplished as my sister has always been a presence in my life. My sister, Erin, is five years older than I am and graduated in the top 10 of her class. She was a part of many honor societies and clubs, was a Morehead-Cain Scholar nominee, was awarded several scholarships and attended UNC-Chapel Hill. This record has hung above my head throughout high school, and I’ve struggled to try and equal or better it. While I, too, have joined many clubs, been accepted into honor societies, and was a Morehead-Cain nominee, I am wait-listed at UNC-Chapel Hill, and will not graduate in the top 10 like she did.
Atwater’s older sister, Sierra, graduated in 2013 as salutatorian with a 4.9 GPA. She was senior class president, a cheerleading captain and was awarded the Chancellor Science Scholarship to UNC-Chapel Hill. For Atwater, trying his best is not always good enough, and he doesn’t feel that he lives up to her standards.
“[My parents] compare my grades to what Sierra’s grades were and if they aren’t up to the standards that she has for me, then they aren’t good enough,” Atwater said. “They expect me to leave high school as salutatorian with a 4.9 GPA but we are two different people, so it’s hard.”
Although being the younger sibling comes with a lot of pressure, Atwater is thankful to be the younger one.
“I can learn from the mistakes she made, and become a better person than she was, that’s what it’s all about, just learning and moving on,” Atwater said. “You can develop your own personality, your own work ethic and find things that work for you and not always your older sibling.”
Senior Austin Vohwinkle shares similar feelings when it comes to living in the shadow of an older sibling. His sister is two years older, but she has always been there to guide and help him progress through his life.
“Trying to not be a disappointment is one of the biggest challenges; trying to be something that is unique and not just a repeat of what she has done,” Vohwinkle said. “It’s trying to compete with them and not fade away.”
Both my sister and I have competitive natures, and while we don’t want to make it a competition between us, I often feel like I’m on the losing side. Throughout life, not just with school, I feel like I am always one step behind Erin and can never step ahead.
When entering high school, one disadvantage of being the younger sibling is that teachers have high expectations based on the accomplishments of the previous sibling.
“They have that image already engraved in their head. If they saw her as a good student, then I should try and mirror that and follow her footsteps,” said Vohwinkle when describing how some teachers expect him to be.
In my case, on the first day of high school, teachers recognized my last name and automatically made the connection that I was Erin’s little sister; therefore, I was expected to make high grades like she did and be like her. While I have always made good grades in school and continue to strive for the highest mark I can get, Erin always seemed to outshine me.
Vohwinkle takes a positive approach to living in the shadow of an older sibling and tries to ignore the negatives.
“Just as a person and how I go about life, treating other people and responsibilities yes, [I want to be like her] because I believe she has been a pretty good role model,” Vohwinkle said.
Unlike Atwater, Vohwinkle often wishes he had been the first child.
“Often, I wish I was the first child, more just the experiences coming first, it’s exciting to take all that in first,” Vohwinkle said. “But it’s also nice being the younger one because she can give me tips on what she’s done, and I can learn from either her successes or mistakes.”
Senior softball player Morgan Oldham has dealt with high expectations throughout her life. Her older sister became a Division I athlete at Elon University for softball, and Oldham will do the same in the fall of 2014.
“[My parents] expect me to be a lot like her and do the same things as her; sometimes it’s difficult,” Oldham said. “She’s someone to look up to, but I feel like I’m constantly being compared to her. The decisions I make, they always compare to the type of decisions she had made.”
“I don’t like being compared because we aren’t the same person, and people sometimes don’t understand that,” Oldham said.
— Dana Walker
