Welcome to Zoe’s 101 where I, Zoe Willard, will dip into my crystal ball of a mind to provide advice for whatever life crisis you’re dealing with. Whether it be relationships, grades or taking over the world, I’ll provide insight to all life’s hurdles and hoops. So hold onto your hats and turn on your listening ears, it’s about to get dramatic.
Hello. So I have a friend who has hurt me in the past and now I am friends with them again. Is this really a good idea? So far they have been good to me, but I am afraid they are going to hurt me again. What should I do?
Dear Backstabbed,
Toxic friends are the worst. We have all been there. The thing about toxic friends is that when they’re great, they’re great. And when they’re not great, they’re really terrible. I like to live by the motto “forgive, but never forget.” If you are willing to take your friend back this one time, I don’t think that’s the worst idea in the world, so long as they actually continue to treat you kindly. If you haven’t already, talk to them about how bad they made you feel, and ensure that something will change. However, keep your guard up. If they start to show signs of betraying you again or falling back into their old ways, distance yourself to avoid getting hurt. If you think you are about to get hurt again, drop them like they’re hot. You don’t need negativity in your life, and you’re probably better off without them anyway.
What do I do if the person I am dating doesn’t seem interested anymore? We have been dating for almost a year, but it seems like we are just friends. He won’t hold my hand and hasn’t said ‘I love you’ in person, only through text. What should I do?
Dear Dump Him,
This guy is really not worth your time. Relationships can really be great when they’re done right —this relationship is not an example of that. Your guy sounds uninterested for sure. Talk to him, see what’s up, and try to come to a solution. If he claims to be interested but continues to act bored, maybe he’s just boring. Either way, it sounds like it’s time to find a new guy. Say bye bye to Mr. Just Friends and find someone worth your time—you’ll be so glad you did.
How do you take over the world?
Dear Doofenshmirtz,
However you do it, bring me with you.
Hey, how are ya? I need some advice, some football coaches have been telling me to do football A LOT, but I do marching band and I love it as much as I love football. WHAT DO I DO?!?!
Dear Conflicted,
I’m doing well, thanks for asking. I’ve heard that you can participate in both at once. However, you wouldn’t be able to commit your time to just one or the other, so this still can be a sticky predicament. If you love the two options equally, consider what you can see yourself doing more of in the long run. If you were to go to college for one of the two options, which would you pick? If you were to pick one, which would you succeed more in? I am a big believer in doing what makes you happiest. If marching band is your calling, then kiss football goodbye. If you really like the Friday night lights, then throw that trumpet away. Also, even if you can’t do both activities at the high school level together, you can always join a recreational team for whichever you don’t choose. If I had to give one deciding factor, I would consider which feels more like home to me. Consider which one would give you more of the ‘family’ feeling, and which you would wake up to every day excited to participate in.
I am struggling on finding a balance between my school work, and having fun?
Dear Busy Bee,
Here are some tips I use to keep my sanity while juggling it all:
- Study dates are a great way to get school work done and meet up with friends.
- Limit the amount of time you spend on school work per day. Too much will drive you crazy and is frankly unhealthy. Prioritize what stuff is due the soonest, and work your way through it every day. I typically stick with an hour, but depending on your workload you may need to alter this.
- Keep your weekends open. Try to finish everything you can before Friday night so you have nothing to worry about over your weekend. This can mean finishing assignments before they are due, but you will thank yourself in the long run.
High school is crazy and busy, but it can also be one of the most fun times of your life if you do it right. Keep your grades up, but don’t neglect your social life. Good luck!
Hello Zoe! Recently, one of my closest friends, a person who I used to hang out with nearly every day, has started to rub me the wrong way. Just the things she says in general and how she reacts to my problems seems to irritate me and it has caused me to not hang out with her nearly as much. I know that I love her and I want us to have the relationship we used to, but I can’t seem to move past this. Should I suck it up and work harder to mend the relationship? Or is the fact that we just don’t seem to get along anymore a sign that it’s over?
Dear Drifter,
Consider how your friend may be feeling as well. If you guys are just drifting apart, that’s one thing. But it’s always possible that your friend feels the same way about you, or something deeper is going on with her that is causing her to act differently. As humans, we tend to jump to conclusions or make assumptions rather quickly, and we should take more time to find real causes behind problems. This sounds like it was a rather rapid change to me, so it could certainly be a big life change or adjustment for this person that is causing her to act out. Talk to her, but go in with an open mind and kind heart. It is always worth a try to mend a relationship, but sometimes, especially in high school, relationships just tend to drift apart. Baseline, yes, I do think you should give this friendship another try. If things don’t change or go the way you’d like them to, let the natural course of this friendship ensue.
How do I not fail Chemistry?
Dear Scientist,
Some of us are just not good at certain subjects. Study a healthy amount, review for tests and quizzes, ask for help in class, but remember to not let a class grade determine your worth or make you feel bad about yourself. As long as you are doing as much as you can, you should feel satisfied with your work. One class grade will never determine your future, and you will find success despite that course’s outcome.
– By Zoe Willard
