Sixth grade—a pivotal year in almost every kid’s life. Guys’ voices start to sound deeper. Girls experiment with makeup. Cliques begin to solidify. The whole year is a scene out of a nature documentary as middle school students develop romantic relationships with one another and rivalries erupt.
Now, picture that one weird girl in the background. She eats lunch by herself most days. She always has a book in her hand when it’s time for recess. When the teacher announces for students to pair up, she is always the one left standing alone.
This girl may ring in a strong sense of nostalgia. She may be a goth who hates the world, for some. She may be a foreigner from another country who doesn’t know exactly how to fit in, for others. However, the girl I am describing is none of those characters. She is a smiley young lady enthused about the world around her. She doesn’t mind being by herself. In fact, she prefers it over everything else. This girl is me.
During these middle school years, it always seemed like there was a secret code of conduct not found in the school handbook. Everyone knew that the more connections one made at school, the more success one achieved. For some people, the thought of being alone seems terrifying—no matter how old they get. However, it’s more common to be alone than one might think for the millennial generation.
According to One’s a Crowd, a sociological research paper about living alone written by Eric Klinenberg, more people live alone than at any other time in history. In prosperous American cities—Atlanta, Denver, Seattle, San Francisco and Minneapolis—40 percent or more of all households contain a single occupant. In Manhattan and in Washington, nearly one in two households are occupied by a single person.
Instead of trying to weave my own web of relationships among my peers, I focused my time and energy onto one person: myself. Most of my friends fit better under the definition of acquaintance, and the ones I had developed deep bonds with I hardly ever talked to in school. Through maintaining this sweet spot between friendships and personal development, I found success in my academic life.
One day during recess, conversations about who was taking who to the winter formal erupted. Everybody was obsessed. For girls, it was all about the dresses, makeup and what boy had asked to go with them. For boys, it was all about whose house they could go to afterwards with their dates. I found myself outside of the conversations, thinking about the science fair project due the following Monday.
My focus for that entire week was entirely set on earning an A on that project. I couldn’t hang out with anyone who didn’t share my goal. Does making my grades a top priority over socializing make me weird?
I don’t care what the answer is. I am a person who has learned to enjoy their own company, and that has helped me achieve my own goals.
Instead of going to the Friday night football games, I was at home studying geometry. Instead of going to socials, I watched documentaries on Netflix.
Independent, stoic and sometimes awkward, these traits I can comfortably take pride in, because I know that they’re what got me to where I am today. As a senior, I maintain above average grades in all of my AP and honors courses. When I study, I focus on topics I have questions on rather than in a group setting where I have to suppress my own questions for that of the groups’.
I hope to attend a college with a small student population because I know it’s an environment where I prosper. I have had the experience of being alone in and out of school. I can only imagine my endless achievements when putting the two together as I begin my college years. I don’t mind being alone. I enjoy my own company. Solitude pushed me to succeed in my academic endeavors. Solitude was key to my success.
– By Chantal Shine